As I have been pondering the upcoming lenten season, I have been thinking about what to, “give up.” That of course, is what Methodists do. It consists of some obligatory ceasing of something that is bad for us anyway…only to come crawling back to it surrounded by Easter eggs. I started to review all of the things I, “gave up” in the past: texting, facebook, myspace, soda. Really? That is the big “sacrifice?” …social networking and carbonated beverages? I then, thought of all of the things I have just…stopped over time.

Making music

Writing

Keeping up with friends

Consistent Bible Study

Reading constantly

Biking

Running

Walking

Marching

Poetry

Organization

Loving vocabulary (I was once known as a dictionary)

Volunteering outside of my church

Involvement in nonprofit organizations

Studying various religions

Reading the news everyday

Exercising regularly

That is a good chunk of life that has contributed to me being overweight and uninformed with little creative and spiritual outlet. I love everything on that list. I was once passionately pursing everything on that list. Why would I stop them?

Interesting. Maybe instead of “giving up” stuff, I will start adding some things.

I am fueled to write this as a result of the recent explosion of truths unveiled before me today. I am Catholic by association, the token Protestant…whatever you want to call it. I am “Catholic” because of but not limited to the following: a rosary from Assisi, a very cool Francis statue, a Catholic Bible, Catholic Books, Catholic friends, Young Adults group. That is sick, isnt it? Most of those things are…objects. Is that what faith is based off of? No. The absolute truth? I feel so deeply called into unity. I think our God is SO MUCH BIGGER than the division between the two churches. I don’t see “them” and “me”, I don’t see the division. My heart feels like home when I am in adoration, and I feel hurt by those who divide the churches. Tonight, I discovered a blog of someone who I love very much and it made me realize that I hide behind humor to mask fear I have about understanding how the Catholic church fits into my calling in the ministry. I need to make it clear (because I haven’t) that the Roman Catholic is not a novelty toy to me. I really do love St. Francis of Assisi. Something that makes me feel really close to the Lord is when I am kneeling before him in absolute silence as people enter the church, in reverence to the Lord. It sets the worship, the tone. I also place great value on the Young Adult Ministry of the Catholic Diocese of St. Petersburg. Thank you for taking me in, making me feel at home and putting my with all of my crazy comments and questions. Thank you for letting me be a part of you and not trying to change me.

 And to my best friend…you are a light into the world. I respect you more than you may ever know. Thank you for letting me be a part of it all even if I take advantage of it sometimes. I’m sorry I sometimes lack the wisdom to understand certain things but know my heart is in the right place..most of the time.

Because I am 21 (in a day), I have decided to make a list. I am a fan of lists. That and I need a break from my paper before my head explodes into a trillion pieces. I’m getting old. Okay, my body is getting old. (The creaking, cracking, arthritis, screws, pins and cadaver parts are taking over.)

A girl has to have some goals, right?

21 things to do before I’m 22.

1.Find a good neurologist who doesn’t want to drug me and make me a zombie, is available when I need to get hold of him/her and has a serious problem with spinal taps.

2.Go an entire semester in school without being hospitalized.

3.Train for a mini-triathlon to be completed at a later date. Yes, I know crippled people should not run however, I could (if I were more in shape) complete the swimming portion and because I used to be an avid biker….could re-train myself to bike. I could always stalk Monika into teaching me how to run/jog. How long IS a mini…anyway? Okay, I really just want to wear the number thingy and look all cool with other “cool”, athletic people.*

* Well, and maybe it has to do with fitness and accomplishment too.

4. Put a dent in the little purple book of death. Okay, maybe that is a bit mellow-dramatic. And to those who have no idea what I am talking about….I have a little purple book that I have (for a couple years now) been shoving under things and avoiding like the plague. It is the ministry inquiry book for those who are exploring the candidacy process of the United Methodist Church. It is a tad intimidating and I sometimes question if I am doing the right thing. Anyway, while I have some pretty awesome mentors…(not to mention the only Methodist Rabbi ever) I need to finish…or really start it.

5. Be 100% okay with not pleasing everyone in my life. It will never happen. I answer to one.

6. Throw a wonderful celebration of Jessica’s soon-to-be-marriage in January, a rockin Hens night (haha I learned that from an Aussie friend, impressed?) to follow and after that…stand before the Lord and be a witness of the unity of two people I love very much.

7. Read the Mark of the Lion series by Francine Rivers that I borrowed from Erik’s Mom forever ago and return it to her. I really want to read it, need to make time.

8. Force my non-recipe Dad to let me write down and keep my families recipes that he has in his head to go in my growing recipe box.

9. Get a tan. Okay….get some sun. I don’t want cancer, I just dont want to be Casper the Friendly Amy anymore.

10. Secret Goal

11. Find an orthopedic who doesn’t want to cut me open for knee surgery six..but believes in alternative or non-invasive pain management for unmanageable arthritis.

12. Go to Virginia to see my family and while I am there get the family recipes for Nanny’s cookies and pies and then go next door to stalk Aunt Dixie for all of hers.

13. Give up something totally hardcore for lent.

14. Go an entire year without getting mad at my hair/the heat of Florida and chopping it off. (excluding trims)

15. Officially launch our small group and take it seriously.

 16. Pray about going on a missions trip.

 17. Finish something I should have already started and have procrastinated on.

 18. Get Pastor Kevin to understand the awesomeness of facebook and texting.

19. Obtain a car.

20. Write a letter to someone that needs to hear what I have to say.

21. Get rid of the cushions that hide my fantastic abs. *

*inspired by Charlie who made a similar comment about his hidden abs.

This seems to define my life up until now. I’m in a constant battle. This video has been around for awhile and I keep seeing it come back on Facebook. It puts things into perspective.

Dear Jessica,

Five years ago I looked across the room at you and thought you were the coolest person ever. I thought I’d never talk to you. Today, you are my best friend. It is ironic how God has a bigger plan than we do.

In six months I will stand up as a witness and watch you marry the second love of your life. I will watch Alberto marry the second love of his life. You see, you both have loved before. You both love someone else. He is okay with it though. He introduced you.

As you start your new life with your husband and Jesus know that you deserve it. You deserve Alberto. He loves the Jesus in you. He loves you for who you are. He loves Jesus. You are worthy of such a love and don’t let Satan or anyone else tell you otherwise. You will make such a beautiful bride.

Thanks for being an example of a Godly woman. And I still think you are the coolest person ever.

Love,

BFFL

“There will come a day” These words came to me this week from the Rabbi. Everyone that knows me… has heard of the Rabbi. All of my friends call him the Rabbi because they hear all of my stories about him. I started calling him that as a joke a couple years ago after he resolved a conflict involving a Jewish Congregation that has a long-time friendship with our church. Rabbi totally works for him anyway considering it is sometimes considered to mean “teacher” and Pastor Larry is certainly one of those. The name kind of stuck amongst the staff…he embraces it.

Anyway, I read part of a sermon the other day that the he is working on. I won’t divulge too much information here for obvious reasons. I would never want to disrespect him by talking up his sermon pre-delivery. I think part of my stipulation about being his one-woman sermon team is that I probably shouldn’t post the sermon before it is preached….but, I will say….it certainly has me thinking.

“Points to ponder with the Rabbi” as I call it…. is not only my favorite part of the week, but the thing I cherish post about being part of the church staff. Pastor Larry is constantly sharing nuggets of wisdom with me. Sometimes it is a quote, a joke, a story, a book or a sermon. I don’t think I could ever adequately express how honored I am that he would invest time in me. I don’t think he has any earthly idea how much of an impact he has had on my life. He is quite possibly the most profound person I have ever known. He plays many roles in that he is a pastor, teacher, leader, mentor and friend.  He has put in my hand books that will change your life like “Night Country” by Loren Eiseley (my favorite book of all time) and anything by Barbra Brown Taylor. I have many books that both Pastor Kevin and Larry have given me over the years and it is funny how they seem to hit a sweet spot in my soul with perfect timing. Pastor Larry has also been really patient with me over the years when I have either been ill with random Ridgewell illnesses or totaly screwed something up. I have done things wrong, messed things up and just plain forgot to do things. Yeah, he may not be happy with me for a moment (or two) but I always know he loves me. So many times I wanted to give up because I was sick or just being dumb but he always reminds me that I am needed and welcome. I feel as if God sent me to Palma Ceia so I could be inspired by both of my pastors as I respond to God calling me in the ministry.

In the summer of 2006, he asked a rhetorical question in a staff meeting as a closing to his devotion. I will never forget it because I have literally asked myself this question everyday for three years. He said, “what would you do if you had no fear of the outcome?” I feel like this question and the title of his next sermon are connected. There will come a day…where nothing of this world matters. When our Christ, Jesus will come back for us. Not only will that day come…but I feel as if that question posed to me three years ago is more of a calling. What I would do if I had no fear of the outcome, is live as if that day is tomorrow.

Let us live with the passionate desire to serve the Lord that first loved us.

     The summer started off a bit crunchy but is wrapping up rather splendidly. The end of the semester came to a screeching halt when I got tonsillitis for the millionth time and earned myself a nice little hospital stay. I then, had my tonsils taken out…consequently causing me to have to take a couple of classes over. Me…taking classes over. I thought my life was over as well as my GPA. I am an “A” student and have been for most of my life. I am the kind of person that a “B” on an assignment will ruin my week. I was the kid that had a hand-painted, sculpted, six-foot cement solar system when everyone else had tooth picks and foam. I felt like I was having a heart attack when I went to see the counselor to discuss my classes and the block on my registration. He laughed at my nervousness and assured me that sometimes things are beyond my control and that I was an excellent student.

     The world has not ended. I attended a retreat with my best friend that was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I was the only protestant in a sea of Roman Catholics. By Catholic I mean mass, the rosary, adoration, people crossing them everywhere and many things I was not accustomed to. Honestly, I went for research purposes and to spend time with Jessica. I have always had this deep desire to learn about how other people worship God. When I am a chaplain…God will bring me to all believers (and non-believers) not just casserole, fried chicken-eating, Methodists. God had a lot more in store for me than some quality time with Jessica and making fun of her boyfriend. God allowed me to meet the most genuine people I have ever met in my life. The leaders and every single person there welcomed me with open arms and got a kick out of the token protestant. We had small groups and mine was by far the coolest. Not only did I ask them a ton of questions…they asked me about my church and what I believed. I felt like I belonged and as if we got rid of all of the division and united as one church. I felt so close to everyone in my group especially Chris who I spent most of the weekend talking to. He made me understand why they do certain things…and we had constant jokes about me being to token protestant and all of the differences. My group learned that we are more alike then they thought and they told me they appreciated my openness and willingness to learn.

I will continue to hang out with the diocese of St. Pete and all of my new, wonderful friends and companions in the faith.

    

     The South Central District selected me to go to the Annual Conference this year again as the delegate. This is the Annual Conference the United Methodist Church. Of course, this was a great honor and I feel so very blessed to afforded the opportunity. I am honored and thankful to be able to serve my district and thankful to my church for sending me. I got to see many familiar faces, visit with old pastors…all of which had an impact on my life and meet many new people. I went to the deaf section and said hello to everyone I met last year and introduced myself to all of the new people in the section. As I was signing and apologizing for my lack of practice, I was asked by a deaf pastor to sign part of the conference. I quickly told him I was honored that he would ask me however….I needed much more practice to sign for over a thousand people. I gave my promise that I would practice and sign next year. He, (and others) convinced me that I should sign anyway…so I did. I quickly texted my ASL 1 teacher and good friend…”Mr.G” exclaiming my fear of signing in front of all of thosepeople. He assured me to just smile and sign for the Lord and it was then that I was reminded why I was there. I signed the worship music and allowed a group of deaf people to experience and worship with me. God is so cool. Oh, I was asked by a leader on the Committee for Young Adult Ministry for the conference to go to lunch with them. They asked me to serve on the committee for the Florida Conference and I look forward to help in growing the Young Adult Ministry in the state of Florida so young people can get plugged in. I’m a Methodist…a committee is just like second nature. The rest of the Church staff and I attended our annual staff retreat. This year, it was in Orlando at St. Lukes United Methodist. We planned for one day at St. Lukes and then went to the Holy Land the next day.

This is a picture of Pastor Larry (the Rabbi) and Pastor Kevin. They are my pastors, mentors and friends.

 

     On Wednesday I flew back from a week-long visit to Virginia. I flew in the Wednesday prior to see my cousin, Brooke, my grandparents and my Aunt and Uncle. I had a wonderful visit with them, saw my new baby cousin Catie, had lunch with an old “senior-friend”, went to visit my cousin Kenny and helped my Aunt and Uncle move into their new home. I wish I could have stayed longer but work was waiting back home and school starts soon. I went shopping in West Virginia, went target shooting with my Marine Grandfather and beat him and held the most beautiful baby in the world. I hope to go back soon.

The summer has come, is almost gone and I’m looking forward to the fall and cooler weather.  

This is because Amy S. Tagged me.

Eight Things I Look Forward To…

1. Seeing God in everyday things. (IE: Kids laughing)

2. Conversations with my Rabbi (It is an inside joke, he isn’t really a Rabbi…he is one my pastors.)

3. Seeing Erik as often as I can though school and work take priority.

4. Searching for turtles with Jessica or watching her eat french fries and ranch.

5. Doing Chapel where I get to preach a message to 50-100 kids and their parents.

6. The day that I stop having migraines.

7.  Going to see my Grandparents

8.  Finishing School

Eight Things I Did Yesterday…

1.  Slept

2. Ate

3. Talked to Charlie

4. Talked to Jessica

5. Went on Facebook

6. Finished a Sociology paper

7. Slept

8. Slept

(I wasn’t feeling well and I had the day off)

Eight Things I Wish I Could Do…

1.  Play the piano proficiently

2. See Erik more often

3.  See my Grandparents more often

4.  Be Healthy

5. Cook

7. Make Straight ‘A’s’ again.

8. Help heal some relationships between people that I love.

Eight Shows/Channels That I Watch… (when time permits)

1.  Boston Legal

2.  The History Channel

3.  CNN

I don’t really watch T.V…

So I’m a bad blogger. I admit it, okay? That’s right…Amy Ridgewell is a bad blogger. The previous statements should satisfy Jessica Coosey and Julie Brown…both of which have expressed their apparent concern in my lack of blogging. I write things but when I get to the end, I just don’t think they are blog worthy. However, to satisfy the masses (because that is how I roll), I shall blog.

School is most likely at the forefront of my mind as of late. I’m taking math (my favorite subject), psychology and sociology. I had four classes, but I managed to finish the stupid weekend art class with a “B”. For someone who doesn’t really like art and had a very long and difficult final, a “B” isn’t too shabby. Math is going alright, sociology is going well and I don’t feel like discussing psychology. Well, maybe some. What bothers me most about struggling in this class is that it’s my major. I haven’t made lover than “B” in any class and I don’t want to start now. Honestly, I’m not sure how this is going to end for me but all I can do is my best. My professor’s teaching style (if you want to call it that) isn’t exactly reaching me and he doesn’t teach out of the book I paid $130.00 for that he said we needed. As you might have already guessed, I am looking forward to summer.

Speaking of summer, the week school lets out I’m having my tonsils out. I was talking to Jessica while reading horror stories online about other adults who had them out. I’ve had two doctors tell me it is excruciating. Do they not know I am a Ridgewell? It is clearly typed on my chart. I’m not too worried about it, 10-12 days and I’m good a new. Perhaps I have this attitude because since my bought with several tonsillitis (and hospital stay) a few weeks back, I seem to get a pretty bad flare up every few days. Don’t worry, Mom keeps lots of popcicles in the freezer (I only seem to like one kind) and I am popping a low dose of prednisone until May 11th rolls around.

Dad’s health seems to be the main topic of discussion in the Ridgewell home. We had an exciting day last Friday. I had the marriage preparation course with the Rabbi Friday and Saturday, so I was pretty busy. While checking the audio/visual for the third or so time…my cell phone rang. It was a number I didn’t recognize so I kept working, I then heard an announcement over the loud speaker saying, “Amy, call on line 1.” I needed to finish, couldn’t some random person wait? Walking to the phone I answered in my normal fashion reciting my name and before I could get the words out, a frantic woman started speaking…well yelling into the phone. “You need to come here now; we can’t get a hold of your mom. Come to Dr. Whitaker’s office, you would be here before an ambulance.” Crazy nurses, what was she talking about? “Amy your Dad needs to go to Tampa General now.” I didn’t even know he had an appointment, and why didn’t they call an ambulance (I still don’t know the answer to that one.) I ran. I think I hung up on the woman and I don’t remember what I said. I went to the office because I needed keys and to tell Pastor Larry something. I very calmly explained what has happening and he said, “Go, do what you need to do.” Ironically, though my body was moving at remarkable speed and in a rush, I felt no fear. I am sure I cut a few people off, yet I cannot exactly recall how fast I was going but I got to the doctor’s office.

On the way to the hospital, I tried to make light conversation with Dad to measure how coherent he was. “Are you with me Dad?” He didn’t answer. He turned all kinds of shades of pale as I turned onto Bayshore and that is when he started screaming at the top of his lungs, gasping for air and holding his chest. The speedometer was no object at that point and I weaved in and out of cars toping whatever speed I was going and probably shouldn’t mention because my Mom (and other “Mom-like” people) frequent my page. A ten minute car ride….cut in half, I pulled up in front of the car, leaving it running and got to the passenger side. I looked up and it so happened to be the valet guy whom which I had some pervious…altercations. In those previous times, I hoped my cross was under my shirt when I yelled at him and now I needed him because when I looked at my Dad, he couldn’t get out of the car. He couldn’t answer me, he couldn’t look at me. I grabbed a wheel chair and the valley guy yelled for me to go tell the E.R. he was here and he moved my Dad into the wheel chair. I ran in and announced to whoever heard me that a 48 –year-old man with a surgical cardiac history and heart attack symptoms was being wheeled in. They took him back and I ran after them. They ran an EKG and I put my hand on his shoulder and he looked up at me and yelled, “Make the pain stop!” I told him they were working on it and said he was sorry for yelling at me and then they shoved me out of the room. People scrambled like ants on a freshly stepped-on ant hill and were talking about seeing something in his EKG. I was shortly after ushered out in the waiting room, where I found my mom.

After they lost him for almost two hours, a visit from the Rabbi and close observation of my mother (whom I thought might hurt someone…she was a little angry), we found out they had taken him into the E.R. for another heart cath. Fantastic. It came back unremarkable and they kept him for a 23 hour admin and sent him home. They have a theory, but are really unsure as to what is causing these problems. Given that he had a heart attack in January, has had four stents put in, three heart-caths and a repair on his aortic value I am not entirely convinced it is not cardiac related. Anyway, he has another round of doctor’s visits this week and we shall see.

As for now, I must get back to math. Oh the joy. The weather is craptastical today, isn’t it?