The wheels of my bicycle toppled over the indentations of the curb. I heard a familiar hum in the distance and looked up to see my grandfathers white Lincoln. Knowing I was just on the outskirts of my boundary line, I waved wondering if they would tell. Mom and Dad only allowed me to ride my bike so far, I was nine years old.

Riding back to the house, a rush of panic fell over me. What if they told my parents? Maybe they didn’t even know I wasn’t allowed to ride there. Restless, I spent most of the night waiting for the phone to ring. The phone never rang and that was the last time I saw them together. It was the last smile I had ever seen on their faces.

My grandmother died shortly after.

My grandfather rarely smiled ever again.

He lost is muse and so did I.

White lace socks and baby doll shoes were worn along with my brand new dress. We went to church, the first church I had ever known.  My small hand fit into his as we walked inside. It seemed so much bigger then with its arched ceilings and circular chandeliers. At Christmas time, the smell of homemade apple butter adorned the air and the largest chrismon tree I’d ever seen stood tall in the front. I sat between them, trouble and law. Nanny didn’t let us get away with anything. I waited for him to stand for the hymns as he was always the first one to jump up. I copied him. He was my friend. He wore a sharp red coat on Christmas. He was my Grandfather.

For generations my family met in this place. My paternal great grandparents were founding members who were long gone by the time I was a little girl. My mother’s parents attended for many years and they were the ones who introduced me to Mallow. We always sat on the last pew and PawPaw went to take the offering. When I was little, I always wanted to go with him but he always came back and sat next to me. Adam always sang on Christmas and sometimes PawPaw would cry. He was so proud of Adam and that made me proud too.

As I grew up, I never stopped going to Mallow. It had seen me grow up and stand in the front to bury both of my grandfathers.  It was in the same little church that my parents met in Sunday school and then married twenty years later. Rich in history and full of love, I’ll always have a special place in my heart for that tiny Presbyterian Church. Over a hill and down in the valley in the tiny little town of Covington, Virginia is a little place that I’ll always love. It is where I came from, Mallow.

Dear PawPaw,

I have started this letter a million times in the last two months. It seems like a blur, your illness and death. Writing those words still makes my heart hurt. I have been really sad since you left but I have to remember not to be selfish. You would be utterly miserable right now had your body not given up on you. You would be in a lot of pain and you would have never been able to do the things you loved. It would have hurt to breath. Probably never would have shot a gun or drove your sports cars ever again. You wouldn’t have been the happy, active PawPaw that we all love. And because of this, I am glad that Jesus welcomed you home even if that means I have to be sad for a while. I love you so much no matter what that means for me. And because of this, I had to let you go.

It warms my heart that I got to spend that last week with you. I know you had hard time breathing and I know it hurt but I really needed those days with you PawPaw. We all thought you would get better, I was rooting for you. And ya know what? You did get better, you had the divine physician and now you hurt no more. It was hard to watch those painful breaths yet you used them to tell me that you loved me and I’ll never forget that. The best compliment I’ve had ever had in my life was when you told me you were proud of the person I have become. I am honored that you thought so. It helps me to know that I have your blessing to marry Erik.  You said that you have never seen me happier. You are right, I’ve never been happier. He treats me in a way that would honor you. He is a true gentleman, just like you. On our wedding day, my heart will hurt because my PawPaw won’t be there but I know I have your blessings from Heaven.

I loved following you when I was a little girl, I was your shadow and you are my hero. I will always remember how excited you were to see me when we would travel to Virginia. Your eyes lit up as I ran up the driveway to your arms and I’ll always love the smell of British Sterling. An active Grandfather, you always played games with us. You were always the fun one. By the way, you could have let us win every once and awhile, haha. When you took us to the Lexington fair, I begged you to ride the double ferris wheel with me. Of course, even though you were deathly afraid of heights, you went up anyway. Haha, I wiggled my feet just to make you nervous and you said, “Don’t you DARE move kid.” We had so much fun, didn’t we? You taught me how to shoot a rifle; I have a pretty good shot, huh? Of course, I was taught by my Marine Pawpaw, an expert marksman. I was so proud to be yours. I learned so much from you that would never fit in this letter. All of our memories and adventures we had will always be in my heart and I will never forget.

I’ll always love you and I miss you. I am a better person because you lived.

Until we meet again. Love,

Tuffy, “Kid”

]]> http://amyridgewell.wordpress.com/2011/06/17/miss-you-love-you/feed/ 0 amyridgewell RCO-1216_d SCAN0009 http://amyridgewell.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/my-pawpaw/ http://amyridgewell.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/my-pawpaw/#comments Thu, 05 May 2011 16:29:31 +0000 amyridgewell http://amyridgewell.wordpress.com/?p=298 ]]>  

Bobbie Witt

Bobbie Edward Witt, 79, of Happy Acres in Natural Well, VA departed this life on April 21, 2011 after a brief illness. He was born August 2, 1931 in Roanoke VA to Samuel A. Witt and Geneva Montgomery Witt.

A devoted husband, father, grandfather and friend, he is survived by his wife of 56 years, Nancy Agnor Witt who he always called his beautiful bride. He spent his life spoiling her to continue the tradition of spoiling Nancy that began in Eagle Rock, VA, when she was born. Also surviving are two daughters, Dixie Witt Oliver, affectionately called Dixie Darling by her dad, and her husband Roger of Natural Well and Mitzi Witt Ridgewell, who dad always referred to as Mitzi Baby, and her husband Marty of Tampa, FL. Also surviving are four grandchildren, Chris Oliver of Conway, SC, Jillian Oliver Lopez and husband Kurt of San Francisco, CA, Adam Ridgewell and Amy Ridgewell of Tampa, FL, and one great granddaughter, Lola Lopez, who is expected to arrive on May 9, 2011. He is also survived by his brother, CJ Witt of Roanoke and his wife, Barbara. Also surviving are the great friends and neighbors and many treasured nieces and nephews. And we cannot forget to mention his grand puppy, Jake and his great grand puppy, Speedy. “I hate that dog”. (Yeah right)

Mr. Witt began working at United Parcel Service in 1964 when the company began operations in VA as a delivery driver, tractor trailer driver and then moved into management where he ended a very successful career as an auditor with retirement at age 55. In his early years he worked for American Viscos and the N&W Railroad.

Bobbie was a proud member of the United States Marine Corps and Reserve for 19 years and ended his career as a gunnery sergeant. He served his country in the Korean Conflict. Semper Fi.

A lifetime Presbyterian, Bobbie was a faithful member of Mallow Presbyterian Church. He was also a member of the NRA and the Curtis A. Smith Post 1033 Veterans of Foreign Wars. He was an avid target shooter and an expert marksman and he loved his guns. He also enjoyed the many hours he spent riding around on his property on his John Deere tractors.

Mr. Witt was the proud owner of a 2007 Red Ford Mustang Shelby GT500. He made his girls promise they would drive in it together behind the hearse in his funeral procession and they will honor his wishes.

Funeral arrangements are being handled by Loving Funeral Home in Covington, VA with visitation Monday, April 25, 2011 from 7 to 9 PM at the Loving Funeral Home. The funeral will be held Tuesday, April 26, 2011 at Mallow Presbyterian Church with the Rev. Gary Marshall officiating. Burial will be at Emory United Methodist Church Cemetery in the place Bobbie considered the most beautiful place in the world, Natural Well, VA.

Active pallbearers will be Wayne Botkins, Tom Botkins, Frank Persinger, Dallas McCallister, William “Bill” Keyser, Bill Bush and Tom Stephenson.

Honorary pallbearers will be members of the Ed Matics Sunday School Class.

Graveside rites will be conducted by Curtis A. Smith Post 1033 Veterans of Foreign Wars.

The family suggests that memorial tributes take the form of contributions to Falling Springs Rescue Squad, PO Box 880, Covington, VA 24426 or Mallow Presbyterian Church, 2004 Mallow Rd, Covington, VA 24426.

The Witt family would like to thank Bath County Community Hospital and Staff and Dr Redington for the care received there. And we would especially like to thank the staff on 10 Mountain PCU and ICU at Carillion Roanoke Memorial for the wonderful care and support that was received. And a heartfelt thank you goes out to Dr Robert Keeley for the care, help, support and understanding shown to us during Dad’s brief illness. We are forever grateful.

 A butterfly with a cross in the middle. Amazing. God speaks to me in ways I might never expect.

(I am ashamed to say I didn’t remember how to load a 35mm camera (thanks Dad!) I am also ashamed to say that I forgot to push the photo release button, and ruined the first role. Before work today however, I managed to successfully put the film in…take pictures and get it out without a problem.)

Here are some of my unedited results from around South Tampa:

I have always had an amateur interest in vintage photography since my Grandpa bought me an old Canon when I was like 13 (I dropped the camera a few years later – sad day.)

Not too shabby for $8.00. Grandpa would be proud.

I bought a filter. They didn’t have the right brand I needed and it doesn’t exactly fit but considering how gnarly my old filter was, it will do until I can go to Petco. I hate Petco. I have to walk past the rats and snakes to get to aquatics and I’ve prayed for divine intervention because Lord knows how I feel about those creatures. I think that they should separate the store into two spaces, non-creepy pets and creepy pets.

Back to Wal-Mart. I was only there for 45 minutes or so (which is record time though Jessica thinks that is ridiculous) and I picked up a couple necessary items. When I walked up to the check-out counter I struck up a conversation with my nice cashier who is likely to be in his 70′s. He seemed kind of distraught so I asked him if he was okay and he was hesitant. He then told me that a few weeks ago he overhead me talking to another cashier who shares my name and always talks to me (I am a frequent flyer) about my Chapel sermon for the day-school kids. (I felt the need to explain to her why a 22-year-old needed Play-doh at ten’o'clock.) He asked me what church I worked for and about our services and then he began to tell me about the recent death of his grandson. I talked to him for a few minutes about how sometimes we don’t understand why things happen and I shared with him that God loved him very much. He apologized for randomly telling me about his troubles and I assured him that I was in no hurry. He smiled through watery eyes and asked me to keep him in my prayers as another customer came up.

I walked away with a heavy heart trying to imagine his grief and making a mental note to keep my promise to pray for him and his family. I have always known that sometimes God puts me in the right place at the right time however, when do I miss these opportunities? Instead of talking to the other cashier about Chapel, he could have easily overheard me arguing with Adam over something dumb or complaining to my Mom on the phone about how there are not enough hours in the day. But he heard about my Chapel message to a bunch of preschoolers about God’s plan for us.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

As a Christian, I am called to be a light into the world. Even at Wal-Mart.

“Don’t let the sadness of your past and the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your today.” –Roy Hooker

Sadness of my past…

I’ve been through a lot in my twenty-two years. I have seen and experienced things that I wouldn’t have necessarily chosen for myself, but have played a part in who I am. I try (and tend to) have a good attitude about my past, citing that it has made me stronger but sometimes my reflections turn into depression. I think, “If that hadn’t happened….I wouldn’t have missed out on this…” or “If He hadn’t been sick…I would have had a “normal” childhood.” I sometimes slip into sadness by asking the “what if” questions. It’s easy to slip into these negative thoughts, almost frighteningly comfortable.

Fear of my future…

I like an itinerary. I want to know what is going to happen. Ask Erik, because it makes him nuts.

There Years Ago:

Me: “Hey Baby, what time are you leaving tomorrow?”

Erik: “Uh. After lunch sometime.”

Me: “…..well Hunny, if I don’t know when you are coming, then I won’t know what time I need to finish all of the things I need to do and then I will be stressed out because what if I don’t get everything done and -blah..blah..blah.”

Now:

Me: “Hey Baby, what time are you leaving tomorrow?”

Erik: “12:05p.m. Eastern.”

Seriously though, uncertainty of the feature freaks me out. I drive Jessica nuts obsessing over upcoming tests or events. I often play out scenarios in my head about exactly what I am going to say to so-and-so when I get to my pre-planned destination. I would be absolutely lost without my calendar. I tend to get really anxious and psyche myself up over nothing. If I am speaking somewhere, I normally lay awake all night reorganizing my thoughts. I keep these fears locked inside and play it cool on the outside. For example, I am just as anxious about medical test results as the next person and just because my family waits for those calls often, doesn’t make them any easier. Most of my fears of the future are almost always completely unnecessary. Overkill-worry, I’m good at it.

Ruin the happiness of your today…

These things certainly catch up with me. The quote instantly convicted me standing in Publix when I realized that most of my problems fall into two categories: past sadness, fearing future. The good news is that both of them are 100% preventable. God has some pretty direct thoughts on these matters:

“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” Psalm 55:22

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

God speaks to us every day in big and small ways. I don’t think he ever wanted me to harbor sadness from my past or fear what is to come. I can rest easy in God’s arms knowing that though life is hard, he promised I’d never walk it alone.

(and when I forget, he sends Roy Hooker.)

Experimonth=Fail

Moving on.

I have however, blogged. I just have not posted them yet. Stay tuned.

I’m still alive.

I need to get back into my newsage (Noel says news-ing, which then made me think of “using news”….so I developed “newsage” from the words “usage of news.” I feel that this explanation has hindered my case for making up a word.) mojo. I was once a news junkie however, I came to a point where I lacked the ability to separate my thoughts from the media….and that my friends…was a scary sitch. I also began to hate how negative the news was and consequently how it would affect my day. However, the experimonth is not about the past, it is about the present. It is about sticking to something, growing, experimenting.

I feel like I know nothing about what is going on in the world. Taking the experimonth plunge should be insightful, I need to catch up.

(I was sad to hear today that Princess Diana and President Regan had passed away.)